On Mother’s Day in this sentimental month, Boston once again reaches a bittersweet moment of mixed joy and sorrow. At this tender yet bustling time, the lilacs at the Arnold Arboretum bloom as scheduled, filling the air with a familiar fragrance. Along the Charles River, students in graduation robes appear everywhere. This farewell is both a time of harvest and the beginning of a new life chapter.
Reflections on Lilac Day: A Whiff of Fragrance
Picnicking on Lilac Day at the Arboretum, one sees the lilacs blooming quietly and self-absorbed. There are no technological distractions, only families enjoying the flowers and soaking in the sun, together celebrating the greatness of mothers. For a mother with a graduate, the feelings at this moment are complex: the excitement of a child’s accomplishment and pride mixed with a touch of worry for their impending step into an AI society.
Graduation Season: Expanding a Future Beyond Technology
At Boston’s commencement ceremonies, young people are eagerly bestowed with new identities. Yet, the real world often tries to reduce them to data points and algorithmic models.
Clinical Observation: In my clinic, I see many outstanding graduates feeling despair. They fear they are no longer relevant in the age of data.
The Power of a Mother: A mother’s love is the first line of defense against this dehumanization. This connection does not rely on network signals but on that deep, quiet, and powerful emotion within the bloodline.
Advice for Mothers and Graduates
In this season of blooming lilacs, let us ground ourselves in the vitality of living in the present.
Cherish Memories with Family and Friends: A diploma proves academic work, but the time spent under the lilac trees represents the true meaning of life.
Stay in Touch with Authentic Experiences: When celebrating graduation, try putting down the phone and breaking free from the constraints of digital language. Those moments that cannot be compressed into files or uploaded to the cloud are the real strength that sustains a child moving toward the future.
Ground Your Faith in the Future: The charm of the lilac lies in its natural cycle of blooming and fading. A young person’s future does not need to be defined by AI. Embrace that infinite possibility, which is the core of human creativity and vitality.
Conclusion: Finding Tranquility Amidst the Storm
The lilacs will fade and the commencement will end, but the essence of quiet waters running deep will remain. May all mothers and graduates find peace in the AI era and celebrate the original human connection as a family.
The lilacs remain, the heart does not shift. Happy Graduation and a Peaceful Mother’s Day.
Recently, while reading a New Yorker piece on whether AI will make college obsolete, my mind drifted from technology toward the one thing AI can never truly grasp: the complex architecture of human emotion and the long shadow of our histories.
It reminded me of Jay Caspian Kang’s The Loneliest Americans, where he describes a specific kind of Asian American loneliness—the feeling of spending a lifetime trying to become “acceptable” while still standing emotionally at the edge of the room. I recently heard a friend describe this displacement with heartbreaking precision: “I feel ‘othering’.” It is the sensation of being treated as an eternal exception—physically present, yet existentially cast as “the other.”
Then, I came across a talk on the “Four Acts of Forgiveness.” Many mistake forgiveness for forgetting, but in practice, it is a tool for reclamation. For many adults, whether Asian, White, Black, or Latino, the root of our adult anxiety often lies in what Dr. Susan Forward termed “Toxic Parents.” We carry invisible wounds from environments where we learned: “I am loved only when I perform.”
The Four Acts of Forgiveness
Inspired by Brian Tracy
These are the essential movements required to release the negative energy that quietly erodes your potential:
Forgive Your Parents: Release them for every mistake made in your upbringing. Many adult struggles are rooted in unresolved childhood resentment. By forgiving, you free yourself from those early wounds regardless of whether your parents are living or deceased.
Forgive Others: Consciously let go of resentment toward anyone who has ever hurt you. This is not about approving of their behavior; rather, it is a necessary act of self-interest to liberate yourself from the weight of negative emotions.
Forgive Yourself: Relinquish the guilt and shame tied to past mistakes. Acknowledge that you were doing the best you could with the knowledge and maturity you possessed at the time.
Seek Forgiveness: The final act is apologizing to those you have hurt. This act of repentance releases you from the lingering shadow of guilt.
The Four Forms of Forgiveness
While the Acts are what we do, the Forms are the internal shifts that keep us healed:
Understanding Human Limitation: Recognizing that some people hurt others because they are limited. They cannot give a gentleness they never received.
Stopping the Repetition of Suffering: Realizing that replaying the wound daily is a form of self-injury.
Accepting That Life Is Imperfect: Peace does not come from the world finally validating you; it comes from no longer needing that validation to confirm your worth.
Transforming Pain Into Compassion: The ultimate healing is becoming someone whose suffering evolves into empathy for others who feel that sense of “othering.”
A Note on the Shield of Anger: When Forgiveness Feels Like a Risk
While we seek the peace that forgiveness brings, we must acknowledge a difficult clinical truth: Sometimes, we use anger as a shield. When harm is ongoing, whether through “othering,” active toxicity, or boundary violations, anger serves as a high-voltage fence. It keeps us alert. It tells us, “This is not okay.” In this sense, anger is a form of protection.
But there is a cost. Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You might feel ready to strike, but in the meantime, you are the one with the burning hand. While anger protects us from the outside world, it eventually begins to erode us from within. If the anger never resolves, the “protection” becomes a prison.
The goal of the Four Acts is not to lower your defenses prematurely; it is to reach a level of internal strength where you no longer need to hold onto that heat to keep yourself safe.
Forgiveness isn’t for the person who hurt you—it’s for the part of you that is finally ready to let your hand heal.
In my practice at Remède, I’ve noticed a growing trend: high achieving professionals and parents coming in with a profound sense of “stuckness.” They describe brain fog, lingering fatigue, and a constant state of being overwhelmed. Naturally, the question they often ask is: “Do I have Long COVID?”
The Narrative vs. The Clinic
Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Ed Yong has written extensively in The Atlantic about the devastating reality of this condition, noting that for many, Long COVID isn’t just a lingering cough—it’s a “biological wreckage” that can shatter a person’s sense of self.
Yong’s reporting has been vital in giving a voice to the rare few who face permanent physiological damage. However, as we move further into 2026, we must look at the broader clinical landscape.
The Problem with Loose Definitions
The clinical definition of Long COVID remains remarkably broad, often encompassing any symptom present three months after infection. This “catch all” approach is too loose for true clinical significance. Because the criteria include non specific symptoms like general fatigue or headaches—which most of the population experiences for various reasons—it inflates the perceived scale of the “disease.”
The reality is that the vast majority of people recover fully. While a small fraction of individuals suffers from legitimate, permanent damage, these are the rare outliers. For most, the “lingering” symptoms are not a sign of a permanent viral takeover, but a nervous system that hasn’t yet found its way back to baseline.
Why the 7% Figure is a Myth
To suggest an inflated rate of 7%—roughly 18 million American adults—is simply unreasonable for any medical professional. To put that in context, consider the prevalence of diabetes. As of 2026, approximately 14.7% of the U.S. population is living with diabetes.
If “Serious Long COVID” truly affected 7% of the world, it would represent a health crisis nearly half as widespread as the entire diabetes epidemic. If a new, chronic infection of that magnitude had emerged overnight, the global medical infrastructure would have collapsed years ago. Most of these high figures are derived from survey data, which is highly prone to selection bias; those struggling with general burnout are naturally looking for a framework to explain their exhaustion.
The PANDAS Parallel: Searching for a Villain in OCD
The tendency to search for a hidden biological “glitch” to explain sudden psychological shifts isn’t unique to the COVID era. For years, we have seen a similar phenomenon in the diagnosis of PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections).
The narrative suggests that a common infection—like Strep—suddenly “attacks” the brain, causing an overnight onset of OCD, tics, and anxiety. While estimated to affect approximately 1 in 200 children (0.5%), the fear of this invisible “enemy” often overshadows clinical reality.
The Trap of the Biological Label: When we tell a person (or a parent) that their OCD is purely a “brain infection,” we inadvertently strip them of their agency. It creates a sense of “brokenness” that can only be fixed by a miracle cure.
The Reality of Regulation: PANDAS often presents with much worse outcomes and higher distress than traditional OCD due to its acute nature. However, the gold standard treatment remains CBT and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). While immunotherapy may be used in rare, severe cases where traditional methods fail, the primary path to recovery is teaching the nervous system how to tolerate uncertainty and quiet the alarm.
The Symptoms: A Familiar List
The list of symptoms typically associated with Long COVID and post viral syndromes is extensive and varied:
Neurological: Brain fog, difficulty concentrating, and sleep disturbances.
Autonomic: Heart palpitations (POTS) and dizziness upon standing.
Systemic: Extreme fatigue and joint pain.
Psychological: Heightened anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and a feeling of being constantly “on edge.”
A Shift in Perspective: Integrating COVID into Known Medicine
Rather than viewing “Serious Long COVID” as a mysterious new disease, we are seeing that the body’s response to COVID 19 often mirrors what we have seen with other common respiratory viruses.
The encouraging news is that none of these symptoms are new to the medical field. Conditions like dysautonomia and POTS existed long before 2020. We already possess a robust toolkit to manage these responses. By viewing these through the lens of established medicine, we move away from the “unknown” and toward a clear path to recovery.
The Remedy: Regulating the “Software”
If biological “hardware” damage is that rare, why do so many people feel like they are living in a fog? The answer often lies in overflowing anxiety impacting performance. Our nervous systems are like high performance computers; sometimes the hardware is fine, but the “software” is running too many high stress programs in the background.
For those suffering, it is not the virus that impairs you; it is the inaction of what you can still do despite the symptoms. The remedy for chronic fatigue is not to withdraw from life, but to gradually regain your stamina and live a healthy life—eat, sleep, and exercise normally.
Expanding the Toolkit: Beyond Movement
While recalibrating movement is essential, regulating the nervous system requires a holistic approach. Clinical guidance in 2026 published by Patient-Led Research Collaborative emphasizes several non pharmacological interventions that help clear the fog, in addition to nutrition and sleep hygiene:
Pacing, Energy, and Movement: Instead of “pushing through” fatigue, utilize a pacing strategy. Identify your current window of tolerance and gradually expand it.
Don’t Stop Moving: Total withdrawal is not recommended.
Focus on Tone: Elevate your parasympathetic tone (your “rest and digest” system).
Start Right: Begin with yoga and gentle aerobic exercise. Avoid high intensity cardio initially to avoid overstimulating a sensitive system.
Hydration and Sodium Management: For those experiencing POTS like symptoms, increasing fluid intake to 2 to 3 liters daily and potentially increasing salt consumption (under medical supervision) can help maintain blood pressure and reduce dizziness.
Strategic Compression: Use of abdominal binders or waist high compression stockings can physically prevent blood pooling, providing immediate relief for the “lightheaded” feeling that fuels autonomic anxiety.
Moving From Fear to Performance
The danger of mislabeling chronic stress or OCD as an incurable viral condition is the Nocebo Effect. If you believe your fatigue or intrusive thoughts are a permanent mystery, your anxiety spikes, reinforcing the physical symptoms.
Software issues can be recalibrated. By shifting the focus from “treating a virus” to regulating the nervous system, we reclaim our agency. If you choose not to take action and instead continue seeking external “causes,” it will be a very frustrating journey; you are essentially wasting time on things you do not have control over.
True recovery begins when we apply this fundamental wisdom:
“May I find the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
We move away from the fear of a “ticking time bomb” and toward proven tools that quiet the alarm, clear the fog, and restore your ability to perform at your highest level.
Reclaim Your Perspective The statistical biological norm is recovery. By confronting the uncertainty and addressing the “overflow” of anxiety, you can get unstuck and return to the high performing, poetic life you were meant to lead.
