Category Archives: Healing

Graduation in Lilac Season: A Future Not Defined by Technology

On Mother’s Day in this sentimental month, Boston once again reaches a bittersweet moment of mixed joy and sorrow. At this tender yet bustling time, the lilacs at the Arnold Arboretum bloom as scheduled, filling the air with a familiar fragrance. Along the Charles River, students in graduation robes appear everywhere. This farewell is both a time of harvest and the beginning of a new life chapter.

Reflections on Lilac Day: A Whiff of Fragrance

Picnicking on Lilac Day at the Arboretum, one sees the lilacs blooming quietly and self-absorbed. There are no technological distractions, only families enjoying the flowers and soaking in the sun, together celebrating the greatness of mothers. For a mother with a graduate, the feelings at this moment are complex: the excitement of a child’s accomplishment and pride mixed with a touch of worry for their impending step into an AI society.

Graduation Season: Expanding a Future Beyond Technology

At Boston’s commencement ceremonies, young people are eagerly bestowed with new identities. Yet, the real world often tries to reduce them to data points and algorithmic models.

Clinical Observation: In my clinic, I see many outstanding graduates feeling despair. They fear they are no longer relevant in the age of data.

The Power of a Mother: A mother’s love is the first line of defense against this dehumanization. This connection does not rely on network signals but on that deep, quiet, and powerful emotion within the bloodline.

Advice for Mothers and Graduates

In this season of blooming lilacs, let us ground ourselves in the vitality of living in the present.

  • Cherish Memories with Family and Friends: A diploma proves academic work, but the time spent under the lilac trees represents the true meaning of life.
  • Stay in Touch with Authentic Experiences: When celebrating graduation, try putting down the phone and breaking free from the constraints of digital language. Those moments that cannot be compressed into files or uploaded to the cloud are the real strength that sustains a child moving toward the future.
  • Ground Your Faith in the Future: The charm of the lilac lies in its natural cycle of blooming and fading. A young person’s future does not need to be defined by AI. Embrace that infinite possibility, which is the core of human creativity and vitality.

Conclusion: Finding Tranquility Amidst the Storm

The lilacs will fade and the commencement will end, but the essence of quiet waters running deep will remain. May all mothers and graduates find peace in the AI era and celebrate the original human connection as a family.

The lilacs remain, the heart does not shift. Happy Graduation and a Peaceful Mother’s Day.

CONTACT REMÈDE

LATEST POSTS

FOLLOW REMÈDE

Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.

The Quiet Antidote to Anger: The Acts of Forgiveness

Recently, while reading a New Yorker piece on whether AI will make college obsolete, my mind drifted from technology toward the one thing AI can never truly grasp: the complex architecture of human emotion and the long shadow of our histories.

It reminded me of Jay Caspian Kang’s The Loneliest Americans, where he describes a specific kind of Asian American loneliness—the feeling of spending a lifetime trying to become “acceptable” while still standing emotionally at the edge of the room. I recently heard a friend describe this displacement with heartbreaking precision: “I feel ‘othering’.” It is the sensation of being treated as an eternal exception—physically present, yet existentially cast as “the other.”

Then, I came across a talk on the “Four Acts of Forgiveness.” Many mistake forgiveness for forgetting, but in practice, it is a tool for reclamation. For many adults, whether Asian, White, Black, or Latino, the root of our adult anxiety often lies in what Dr. Susan Forward termed “Toxic Parents.” We carry invisible wounds from environments where we learned: “I am loved only when I perform.”

The Four Acts of Forgiveness

Inspired by Brian Tracy

These are the essential movements required to release the negative energy that quietly erodes your potential:

Forgive Your Parents: Release them for every mistake made in your upbringing. Many adult struggles are rooted in unresolved childhood resentment. By forgiving, you free yourself from those early wounds regardless of whether your parents are living or deceased.

Forgive Others: Consciously let go of resentment toward anyone who has ever hurt you. This is not about approving of their behavior; rather, it is a necessary act of self-interest to liberate yourself from the weight of negative emotions.

Forgive Yourself: Relinquish the guilt and shame tied to past mistakes. Acknowledge that you were doing the best you could with the knowledge and maturity you possessed at the time.

Seek Forgiveness: The final act is apologizing to those you have hurt. This act of repentance releases you from the lingering shadow of guilt.

The Four Forms of Forgiveness

While the Acts are what we do, the Forms are the internal shifts that keep us healed:

Understanding Human Limitation: Recognizing that some people hurt others because they are limited. They cannot give a gentleness they never received.

Stopping the Repetition of Suffering: Realizing that replaying the wound daily is a form of self-injury.

Accepting That Life Is Imperfect: Peace does not come from the world finally validating you; it comes from no longer needing that validation to confirm your worth.

Transforming Pain Into Compassion: The ultimate healing is becoming someone whose suffering evolves into empathy for others who feel that sense of “othering.”

A Note on the Shield of Anger: When Forgiveness Feels Like a Risk

While we seek the peace that forgiveness brings, we must acknowledge a difficult clinical truth: Sometimes, we use anger as a shield. When harm is ongoing, whether through “othering,” active toxicity, or boundary violations, anger serves as a high-voltage fence. It keeps us alert. It tells us, “This is not okay.” In this sense, anger is a form of protection.

But there is a cost. Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You might feel ready to strike, but in the meantime, you are the one with the burning hand. While anger protects us from the outside world, it eventually begins to erode us from within. If the anger never resolves, the “protection” becomes a prison.

The goal of the Four Acts is not to lower your defenses prematurely; it is to reach a level of internal strength where you no longer need to hold onto that heat to keep yourself safe.

Forgiveness isn’t for the person who hurt you—it’s for the part of you that is finally ready to let your hand heal.

Yupei Pearl Hu, MD, MPH Remède Therapy | Brookline, MA

Join the Conversation

I’ve shared a visual guide to these concepts on our social channels. You can view the graphic and save it for your daily practice here:

Instagram | Facebook | Rednote

References:

Tracy, B. The Four Acts of Forgiveness.

Kang, J. C. (2026). “Will AI Make College Obsolete?” The New Yorker.

Kang, J. C. (2021). The Loneliest Americans.

Forward, S. (1989). Toxic Parents.

CONTACT REMÈDE

LATEST POSTS

追蹤 REMÈDE

直接在您的收件匣中接收最新內容。